Remembering September 11

Ten years – wow! Do you remember where you were 10 years ago? I sure do! I remember it like it was yesterday!

What I remember most, I think, was the sheer silence that followed. Although we aren’t that close to the airport, without the planes overhead, it was eerily silent. It was like everything stopped. Even to this day, I look up in the sky, and without a doubt I can find at least one airplane somewhere overhead – and I remember that there was one day where there weren’t any.

People were quiet, too. No one knew what to say – what to do. Eyes were glued to the television – still not believing what was happening – still not wanting to believe it was intentional. There were no words to describe what happened on September 11, 2001.

I also remember that everyone pulled together – regardless of who they were, how much they made, what color, religion or shoe size – we were truly United that day. And not just the United States – the entire WORLD (well, most of it) was grieving with us, reaching out to help – and to pray. I remember watching the newscasters – the ones that are always so professional and composed, break down in tears. No one walked away from September 11 untouched; unchanged.

What happened to that?? On that day, and the days that followed, churches were filled to capacity; people hit their knees and prayed – right where they stood; prayers filled the air. No one said ‘oh, no, you can’t talk about God!” Everyone was talking, listening or at the very least, thinking about God. Even the reporters were saying the ‘P’ word – calling for prayers! No one said, ‘oh, wait, let me go get my suit and tie on to go to church’. It just didn’t matter. There were people in suits and dresses digging in the rubble, and there were people in dirty jeans and torn shirts sitting in the pews of the nicest cathedrals. What happened to that?? Why is it that we can all pull together and act like Jesus only when we’ve got the world falling down around us! Why is it that it takes such a tragedy to bring us all together – and to bring us back to God. And the big question -why is it that in less than ten years – ten short years – we sit here fighting and fussing and ‘that’s not my job’ and ‘I can’t do that’. Did we learn nothing?

I’m not very political, and even if I were, I’d know enough to keep my mouth shut. I don’t know whether the war was a good idea or a bad idea; I don’t know whether the troops should stay or come home; I don’t know if Giuliani did the right thing or if Bush did the right thing. What I do know is that there are so many lives that were changed that day. So many families that lost loved ones. Babies that will grow up without a parent. The fear and anguish of those who just didn’t know whether their loved ones were alive or not. The emptiness of those who still don’t ‘know’ – still don’t have a body to bury. I also know that there are tons of men and women making tremendous sacrifices to protect our country and to fight for our freedom. Many paying the ultimate sacrifice. Again, I’m not saying whether they should be fighting this battle or not – all I know is that they are. They are sacrificing, they are fighting, and they are doing it for what they believe in – our country and our freedom – right, wrong or indifferent – they are there, and they are living it. And as long as they are, it is my responsibility ... our responsibility ... to support them, love them and pray for them in their efforts regardless of politics.

Take time today to remember … to honor … and to pray for all of the victims of 9/11. Honor those that lost their lives that day. Honor those who ran into a falling building for the sake of someone else – whether they themselves made it out or not. Praise God for those who made it out alive and were able to go home to their families. Pray for the families who still grieve over the senseless loss of their loved ones. Pray for the babies that were born who will never know their fathers – they’re 10 years old now! And pray for their mothers as they raise them alone, and pray for wisdom so that they can answer the hard questions that their children are getting old enough to ask.

Pray for the soldiers who are fighting to protect us from another attack -- and for their families that miss them. Pray for the families of those who have died in service to our country. Pray for our government, that wise decisions will be made; that the path will be one that is lit by God's light. And pray for us ... that we will never, ever forget...

My Genesis Week

I have really appreciated my quiet time with God in the mornings lately. It seems like I’m getting overwhelmed everywhere I turn. That quiet time gives me a chance to settle my thoughts and re-group. I stumbled upon this verse recently (or did God say … ‘hey, read this’) and it has really made me stop and think…

“God, make a fresh start in me, shape a Genesis week from the chaos of my life” Psalm 51:11 (The Message)

A Genesis week?? Hmm … God created … well … everything in a week. Certainly He could sort out the chaos in my life in a ‘Genesis week’. Those words have been bouncing around in my head – ‘fresh start’ ‘chaos’ ‘shape’ ‘Genesis week’. God spoke the world into existence. As much as I wish I could speak clean laundry into existence … it’s not gonna happen that way.

God can help me shape my own ‘Genesis week’. I can shape the chaos into a fresh start. Now, since God isn’t going to do it for me … I need a little more than six days to get my chaos under control!

Sunday is a day of rest … but not ‘sit on the couch and watch tv’ kind of rest. It’s a rest, pray, reflect, and shape day. Every Sunday for the next 6 weeks I am going to choose a part of my life that has a little chaos that needs controlling. God did it in 6 days, I’m shooting for 6 weeks. I’ll spend Sunday praying about my goal, reflecting on what I’ve done wrong (or right) in the past, and create a plan to get it under control. For the next 6 days, I’ll put that plan in motion.

This Sunday, I’m going to start with something very visible … my house. Morgan will be gone, so it will be the perfect time to bring some of the clutter and chaos under control. Sunday, I’ll relax, pray and put a plan together. Maybe it will be one room per night. Maybe it will be wash everything … laundry, sheets, curtains, one night and dust, mop, windows another night. I don’t know … I’ll figure the plan on Sunday. Then I’ll follow that plan throughout the week.

Next Sunday, I’ll rest, pray, reflect and shape another portion of my life. Maybe it’ll be finances, or my spiritual life, work life, time management, habits that I want to change. There are lots of different parts of our life … we all wear many hats. Perhaps, if we focus on one hat at a time … and shape a Genesis week for each hat … we can turn some of the chaos into a fresh start!

After all, God organized the chaos of an entire universe. With His help … prayer, commitment and a plan … we can organize a bit of the chaos in our lives!

Which comes first ... happiness of a smile?

Which comes first … happiness or a smile?

More than once something has happened to ‘put me’ in a good mood … and that will lead me to smile a little more, have a little more bounce in my step, and be a little more patient with bad traffic and cranky people. Then, another day something will ‘put me’ in a bad mood, and I’ll be a bit more pouty, drag a little slower and be a little cranky. My level of happiness is the cause … what I do and how I react is the effect.

But that’s not what God says. “This is the day the LORD has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.” Psalm 118:24. It says ‘rejoice’ then ‘be glad’ … not the other way around. Webster defines rejoice as ‘be overjoyed, celebrate …’ So, what does that tell us? Celebrate first; be overjoyed FIRST, then be glad in it. The smile comes first … happiness follows.

Happiness is what comes when we chose to rejoice in the Lord. In other words, happiness is a choice. Oh wait, that’s a scary thought! Happiness is a choice … which means, by contrast, grouchiness is a choice, too.

But I don’t feel happy … I had a rough day, traffic was bad … how can I be happy if I don’t feel happy. Make a choice. If you were offered, would you choose a flower or a weed? You would reach out and take the rose over the crabgrass. So reach out and take happiness over grouchiness. Each day offers the opportunity to have a good day or a bad day. Remember, God said “I will never leave you nor forsake you”, Hebrews 13:5. With a promise like that, how bad can it be?

Make the choice … the rest will follow. Say it out loud ‘I chose to be happy’. Then smile and say good morning to someone … you might be surprised what follows. Rejoice … gladness will follow.

Have a happy day! J

My One Word

Happy New Year!!

Have you gotten used to writing '2011' yet? How are those resolutions going? Well, if you're already frustrated with the resolutions you made - relax ... I've got good news for you!

I want to tell you about a great website I found. To give credit where credit is due ... I heard the ad for the website on WPER 90.5 ... and the website is myoneword.org. The radio station is awesone - and so is the website!

Here's the idea ... when you make resolutions, you are attempting to alter bad behavior from the past. Instead, focus on who you want to be in the future. Notice that I said 'who' you want to be ... not 'what' you want to be. Life is always about the 'who' - but that's another blog! Being skinnier, healthier, richer are all 'what's'. Think a little deeper than that.

Now, the website is My One Word ... not My Long List. This is the hard part. This takes some time, prayer and reflection. Pick one word that will act like a filter for everything else to funnel through. A filter that all of your decisions at home, at work, at church, at the gym, at the dinner table can flow through.

It took me 3 days to pick my word. Actually, it took me 5 minutes - but it took 3 days to know it. I found the word, didn't like it - and then thought about another word. But I kept coming back to this one ... Stronger.

There was a song on the radio (shortly after they talked about the website) by Mandisa called 'Stronger'. She says that the troubles that we are going through are there to make us stronger. So I got the idea for that word. But then I thought ... I'm tired of being 'strong'. I have to be strong rasing my daughter by myself. I had to be strong when mom got sick. I had to be strong when she died. I don't want to be strong for everyone - I want someone else to be strong for me for a change! And then I thought ... maybe that's the problem. I don't 'need' someone else to be stronger for me ... I've got Jesus ... He's all the strength I need. Phillipians 4:13 says so ... I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. I get my strength from Him - and He has never let me down.

So, that is my word for 2011 ... Stronger. I want to be stronger in my faith; stronger in my decision making and stronger in my thoughts. So, when I have a decision or a choice to make, I remind myself 'I'm strong enough for that ... Jesus gave me that strength.' Sometimes it might be 'strong enough' to handle something ... but sometimes, it's 'strong enough' to let it go. Sometimes, I might just need to be strong enough to say 'No'. When I sit down at the dinner table and want the Death By Chocolate cake for dessert ... I can say 'I'm stronger than that!'

So, what's your word??

In His Strength,

Michele

Be careful what you pray for!

God has such perfect timing – and a great sense of humor! Dad and his wife were planning on visiting for Christmas. The plan was (or so I thought) to arrive at my house from Texas ‘by Friday’. So, I took off from work on Tuesday and had a plan! I was going to get Morgan’s birthday cake made, clean the house up a bit, make sure their room was ready and do a little shopping.

The first kink in my plan came when Morgan came home from school with a stomach bug. But that’s ok – I confined her to her room and threatened her within an inch of her life if she came downstairs! So, I called dad. ‘How’s the trip coming along … how far have you gotten?’ The last time I’d talked to him, they were in Louisiana. ‘Oh, pretty good’ he said. ‘When do you think you’ll be here’ I asked; thinking ‘By Friday means Thursday … maybe Wednesday night. ‘Oh, about 4 hours … we just crossed into North Carolina!’ WHAT?!?!!? Tuesday is NOT ‘by Friday’. Tuesday is ‘by Wednesday’!!

So, I called in some reinforcements! And I called on God. ‘Good, Lord’ I said, ‘I’m not ready … I need a little more time’. I didn’t have time to get Morgan’s cake done and get their room ready in the few hours it would take them to get here.

Now, one thing I know. If mom is in Heaven and can give me anything … she’d give me a chance to clean something!! About an hour later, I got a call from dad … the truck was over heating, and they were going to the dealership to have it looked at. Perfect! That little ‘inconvenience’ gave me a few more hours to get everything done and ready for them when they walked in the door that night! Thanks, mom … but really, you didn’t have to break dad’s truck!

God knows what He is doing, and it will always be right on time. It doesn’t matter what we do … we can leave early, leave late, get stuck or break down – and we will always be there right when God wants us there. Sometimes we might be in the truck that breaks; sometimes we might be the one needing more time. Sometimes we might just be the car dealer – but we are all a part of his plan. God does have a plan for you – trust it!

To Everything there is a Season

As the chilly fall weather grips us, I’m already looking forward to spring! I’m not much of a winter person. If I had it my way, I would have 4 months of spring, 3 months of summer, 4 months of fall and 1 month of winter. And during the month of winter, it would have to snow – there’s no sense being that cold without snow!

That’s sort of like what we wish for in our own lives. We’d love for our kids to stay children as long as they can – they grow up way too fast. We could speed up adolescence just a bit, though – for everyone’s sanity! The next few decades can cruise by at a slow and leisurely pace. As ‘old age’ creeps in – whether it’s at 60 years old or 100 years old – we don’t want to linger long without the freedoms that our more youthful bodies allowed for.

But God has his own plans – and they are custom made for each one of us. Some ‘children’ I know are more grown up than some ‘adults’ that I know. There are some folks that are 90 years old that are more active and act younger than some 60 year olds that I know. Sometimes I think my dad and my daughter are the same age! It’s all relative – age is just a number. The seasons of our lives that God has prepared for us have no bearing on the number of years we’ve lived, yet that number is so important to us.

When we’re young, we want to be older – when we get older; we want to be young again. At one point, I thought that if mom and I were ever asked our age, I’d be older than she was! Too bad we can’t identify our ‘age’ by seasons. ‘I’m in the beginning of my fall season.’ Besides Noah lived to be 950 – and started a major construction project at 480 years old!

Why is it that we put so much emphasis on our age? Why does society think that 16 is appropriate to drive a car, that 18 is appropriate to go to war, and everyone should retire at 65. And don’t even get me started on why they think that PG-13 movies are appropriate for a 13 year old!!

Last week, I turned 40. Next week, Morgan will be 14. That is significant for so many reasons! I didn’t hide under the covers; avoiding that dreaded number … it was a great day! And although Morgan claims to be a whole year older, we’re just a day older than we were yesterday! The number ‘4’ has a very special place in our family. It’s a long story … so I’ll save it for next week, but we know that it’s Mom’s way of letting us know that she’s okay!

In Ecclesiastes, God said that ‘To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under the sun’. I don’t recall there being any reference to a number. So I think … when someone asks me how old I am, I think I’ll tell them ‘I’m early fall!”

I miss you, Mom

Time is such a tricky thing! It seems like tomorrow ... pay day ... spring ... will never get here. Then again, it seems like just yesterday that I was in high school ... that Morgan was born ... that Mom died.

I was looking for a quote ... something that I knew I had written about in my ramblings at some point, so I started searching through them - and realized that I really needed to hear some of those little tidbits. The last 'rambling' that I wrote was last February - shortly after mom came home from the hospital on hospice care. I was so frustrated ... so lost and so alone. For the first time (although I always knew the day would come) I felt the full force of panic of an only child. Feeling the weight of caring for a dying parent - physically, emotionally and mentally - by myself.

Three months after that, May 16, 2010, mom went home to be with Jesus. (hold on while I get my tissues ... ok ...) Six months later ... I now realize that the loss and loneliness I felt when I wrote that rambling last February - was a drop in the bucket to what was to come. There are many stories and lessons ... and I'll share them ... but not today.

As the Christmas season nears, I'm getting a taste of the tears that I know will come ... and just how much I'll need to make myself remember these little tidbits ... and how much I need to share them. If not to give you a little lift, or something to think about, then to make myself think and feel when I really just want to crawl up under a rock until January!

Mom and I didn't have the perfect mother/daughter relationship. We had our ups and downs through the years. I was always a 'daddy's girl' ... and I guess that in itself created its own hurdles in our relationship. But she's my mom ... and I love her. I miss her now more than I ever thought I would. Yea, I knew there would be loss ... I knew I'd miss yard saling in the summer, never having to pick up a cup that wasn't where it should be, and just having my mom around to talk to. I never dreamed I'd miss being told to take the trash out ... or 'Sheeeelllll ... can you fix me some ice cream?!?!" I never thought of the little things I'd miss ... and although if you put is in the same room together and we'd argue about something - the phone calls on the way home from work, and the conversations we had when she was in Arizona a few years ago ... I'd give anything to have again. I'd leave work and call mom on the way home ... we'd talk about 'stuff' and laugh and make plans and figure things out. Then (and it's only a 15 minute drive if you catch all the lights red) I'd get home and the fussing would beign. I knew I'd miss the phone calls (just not as much as I do) ... I was surprised to miss the fussing!

I started getting Christmas stuff out this past weekend - and as my mind shifted to the holiday season, I thought about the loneliness that Jesus felt. I thought about the loss that the disciples felt when Jesus died. I realized, that because of that loneliness that he felt ... because of the loss that the disciples endured - I don't have to. I do ... because I'm here and mom's not and I miss her... but I don't have to. I know that one day I'm going to see her again. I know that she's smiling down on me ... and I know that although it seems like that day might never happen - one day it will seem like just yesterday. I wonder if they have yard sales in Heaven??

I'm not making any promises ... but stay tuned ... I'll fill you in on some of the lessons I've learned this year ... like just how perfect God's timing can be. Some of the oddest places to find a little patience ... and something that I've been working on for some time - and just haven't gotten the hang of it yet. I'm gonna have a class on it one day ... "How to say the word 'no'". It is pronounced N ... O ... not nooooookay! There is no 'k' at the end of the word 'no'! Well, maybe I'll start that class next year!

For now, bundle up ... stay warm ... and tell somebody that you love them!

Michele