I've been struggling a lot lately ... Morgan entering those awkward middle school years - rejections, emotions, challenges and frustrations. I've said more than once 'she (and all kids) need to know that someone loves them and has an interest in them other than me (mom and dad). I wanted to write something that speaks to that need that we all have to have a place that is 'safe' - and then I realized, I'd already done that ... I found this message that I wrote last August - in the midst of our construction project...
I realized something recently. As I struggle to add a little breathing space to my house – I realized that – it doesn’t matter. All of this work, money, headaches and frustrations – and it’s not the point. I should have known that! Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m glad I’ve done this – and it’s wonderful (and necessary for everyone to keep their sanity) to have the additional space. It’s important for Morgan to have a place where she and her friends can hang out – and part of the purpose of the addition was to ensure that the best place to hang out is at our house. I wanted to create a space where she and her friends would be comfortable while Grandma and I still had a place to call our own.
All the kids seem to love to hang out at our house – and I love that. I know where Morgan is, what she’s doing, and who she’s with. There are quite a few kids that can walk to our house, and a few that their mom brings them – but I never know when I walk in the den who (or how many) I might find! One night we were cooking hot dogs on the grill – I was outside in the back yard, and I wondered why we needed to open another pack of hot dogs! I walked in the den and found 8 kids watching a movie eating hot dogs. I just had to smile, and gladly opened another pack of hot dogs – I had plenty on hand for any kids that came by – and was glad to have them sitting around – knowing that not only was my daughter safe and accounted for, but so were the other 7 kids that had managed to find their way to my house. That meant there were 8 happy kids not getting into trouble! So from there, I wanted more space for them so that as they got older, Morgan would still feel comfortable entertaining her friends at our house.
But that room doesn’t matter – and I learned that from a cat!
I have 2 cats – both solid white. As we have been doing construction, they have discovered that there are little cubby holes that they can go under the house and pop up into the house from outside – their own little kitty door! One day I came into the kitchen and found an orange cat wandering about. Morgan happened to know the cat – Duffy – and Duffy has a home – so we pet him and sent him on his way. Later, I saw my cat Ella and Duffy outside playing – wrestling and chasing each other through the yard – like best friends. The next day, I found Duffy in the kitchen again – eating Ella’s breakfast – and Ella (little miss piggy) was sitting patiently by watching! I put some more food down for Ella, they ate, went outside to play – and Duffy went home.
All the kids seem to love to hang out at our house – and I love that. I know where Morgan is, what she’s doing, and who she’s with. There are quite a few kids that can walk to our house, and a few that their mom brings them – but I never know when I walk in the den who (or how many) I might find! One night we were cooking hot dogs on the grill – I was outside in the back yard, and I wondered why we needed to open another pack of hot dogs! I walked in the den and found 8 kids watching a movie eating hot dogs. I just had to smile, and gladly opened another pack of hot dogs – I had plenty on hand for any kids that came by – and was glad to have them sitting around – knowing that not only was my daughter safe and accounted for, but so were the other 7 kids that had managed to find their way to my house. That meant there were 8 happy kids not getting into trouble! So from there, I wanted more space for them so that as they got older, Morgan would still feel comfortable entertaining her friends at our house.
But that room doesn’t matter – and I learned that from a cat!
I have 2 cats – both solid white. As we have been doing construction, they have discovered that there are little cubby holes that they can go under the house and pop up into the house from outside – their own little kitty door! One day I came into the kitchen and found an orange cat wandering about. Morgan happened to know the cat – Duffy – and Duffy has a home – so we pet him and sent him on his way. Later, I saw my cat Ella and Duffy outside playing – wrestling and chasing each other through the yard – like best friends. The next day, I found Duffy in the kitchen again – eating Ella’s breakfast – and Ella (little miss piggy) was sitting patiently by watching! I put some more food down for Ella, they ate, went outside to play – and Duffy went home.
Hmmm – I’m seeing a pattern here – friends come over, I feed them, they play happily, and then they go home (usually)!
Certainly Duffy didn’t care about how much space there was for him. He came over because he felt comfortable, safe and loved. So, are Morgan’s friends gonna come over because there’s more space? No – they come over because they feel comfortable, safe and loved. Although it will be a great benefit for them to have this space – and I have a space to retreat to – I think that if we lived in a house half the size that we started with – they would all still be there!
Kids need to know that they are safe, that they are loved, and that they are special. They need to know that from their parents – but parents ‘have to’ say that! When someone else tells them they are special – or better yet, shows them that they are special – it can have a huge positive impact on them. That is why the Children’s Ministry and the Student Ministry are so very important – and the people that invest in these kids are so valuable.
And for those kids that don’t get that from their parents (and we’ve seen that, too) maybe, just maybe, that little piece of love and acceptance that we shared – that small investment of a hot dog and a movie - will stay with them as they grow – and they’ll pull it out of the back of their memory when they need it most.
If these kids can walk away from my house feeling better about themselves only because they feel loved and accepted – imagine what could happen if people walked away from schools feeling loved and accepted; from voting booths; from the welfare line; from church – feeling loved and accepted. We don’t ‘fix’ the world through elections, programs, schools or even churches – we ‘fix’ the world by doing what Jesus did – love and acceptance – one child at a time!
Go out this week and tell a kid they are special … tell your kid, tell their friends, tell a kid at church – and remember we’re all God’s kids!!
Have a great week!
PS: 'But mom, we're just sitting on the bed!!'
Certainly Duffy didn’t care about how much space there was for him. He came over because he felt comfortable, safe and loved. So, are Morgan’s friends gonna come over because there’s more space? No – they come over because they feel comfortable, safe and loved. Although it will be a great benefit for them to have this space – and I have a space to retreat to – I think that if we lived in a house half the size that we started with – they would all still be there!
Kids need to know that they are safe, that they are loved, and that they are special. They need to know that from their parents – but parents ‘have to’ say that! When someone else tells them they are special – or better yet, shows them that they are special – it can have a huge positive impact on them. That is why the Children’s Ministry and the Student Ministry are so very important – and the people that invest in these kids are so valuable.
And for those kids that don’t get that from their parents (and we’ve seen that, too) maybe, just maybe, that little piece of love and acceptance that we shared – that small investment of a hot dog and a movie - will stay with them as they grow – and they’ll pull it out of the back of their memory when they need it most.
If these kids can walk away from my house feeling better about themselves only because they feel loved and accepted – imagine what could happen if people walked away from schools feeling loved and accepted; from voting booths; from the welfare line; from church – feeling loved and accepted. We don’t ‘fix’ the world through elections, programs, schools or even churches – we ‘fix’ the world by doing what Jesus did – love and acceptance – one child at a time!
Go out this week and tell a kid they are special … tell your kid, tell their friends, tell a kid at church – and remember we’re all God’s kids!!
Have a great week!
PS: 'But mom, we're just sitting on the bed!!'
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